Today I just have this desire to climb into my bed and not talk to anyone for a good chunk of time. I don't feel like reaching out. I don't feel like moving. I feel like being sorry for myself. I don't want anyone to bug me and yet I crave some sort of affection. Maybe it's not bad to do nothing for awhile sometimes, but it tends to put me in this mood.
Why is it that I get stuck in this mood of disconnect? Where I actually think being disconnected with God gets me anywhere.
When I get disconnected I feel like I'm stuck in this darkness. I feel dead, without God. Thank goodness He still finds me when I pull away. Thank goodness He is outside of time and can see all my uncertainties. Thank goodness He is constant and reliable and worthy of my patience and solitude. He is worthy of the life in my eyes. He is worthy of overflowing from my spirit.
"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there...If I say "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you" -Psalm 139:7,11-12
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