My Weakness; His Strength

Oh Father God,

I come before you now offering you my whole heart. I come before you because my doubting heart is weak. But I come before you because even though I am weak, you are strong.

1 Cor. 1: 25: "For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength" 

I'm burdened tonight with my generation. I see a generation of people who want to become more and more like the world and less and less like Jesus. I see a sinful nature in my own self and a fight against my selfish desires. Lord, I need your wisdom. I need your strength, your sword, your shield, your Word.

Comfort me when I am afraid to live for you.

Romans 8:38-39

"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our FEARS for today nor our WORRIES about tomorrow- not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's LOVE. No power in the sky above or in the earth below- indeed, nothing in all creation will EVER be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord" 

Remind me of how strong you are.

"Never underestimate my Jesus. When the world around you crumbles. He will be strong. He will be strong.I throw up my hands. Oh, the impossibilities. Frustrated and tired. Where do I go from here? Now I'm searching for the confidence I've lost so willingly. Overcoming these obstacles is overcoming my fear. I think I can't. I think I can't. But I think you can, I think you can...Gather my insufficiencies and place them in your hands..." -Reliant K

Lord, interrupt my thoughts with the desires on your heart. Lead me in ways I could never have thought of on my own.

Thank you God for the grace you have extended to me even when I have chosen everything but you. "[God] is not proud...He will have us even though we have shown that we prefer everything else to Him." -C.S. Lewis Strip me of my pride because you are not a God of pride. Remind me of this grace you have extended in the times I am tempted to be led by my anger, the bitterness I've given home to in my heart.

To you and you alone be the glory in every action, word, and desire that comes from me.

I praise you because you can use me- weak me- simply because you are strong.

Amen.

"Give praise to the LORD, proclaim his name; make known among the nations what he has done. Sing to him, sing praise to him tell of all his wonderful acts. Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice. Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always." 1 Chronicles 16: 8-11

Constructive Decisions

What is something you are really against? Lying? Cheating? Couples living together before marriage? Gay marriage? Abortion?

Take this thing you are really against. Say someone you love deeply is participating in this lifestyle. Say they are in a relationship built off of lies or cheating or premarital sex... They invite you to a wedding, asking you to be a witness and a supporter of a marriage you cannot approve. Would you go? Would you walk your daughter down the aisle to a lier?

We talked about this issue last night in my small group. The Bible says to love our neighbors, but it also clearly states in the Bible that we are to live in this world but not of it ("Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him" -1 John 2:15)

As Christians, we are set apart. As Christians we are supposed to look different because we have the hope of the Holy Spirit in us.

In the discussion last night, we talked about healthy decisions. We talked about what lifestyles to support. Then we trailed into talking about tattoos. Is it biblical to get them? Is it wrong? Our leader Kurt gave us this verse: 1 Corinthians 10:23 "I have the right to do anything", you say-- but not everything is beneficial. "I have the right to do anything"-- but not everything is constructive"

So that's why God calls us to look different from the world. Not all things are beneficial for me to do. A tattoo might stop me from getting a really good job. Supporting a gay marriage might make others believe this lifestyle is beneficial because a Christian was a witness to the marriage. Sinning in any kind of way, seeking any selfish desire, lusting after an attractive person, thinking impure thoughts, all of these things are not beneficial. It makes me think sinful things. The mind is a beautiful thing and I should be training it to think godly thoughts.

As Christians, we should be be thinking through out actions and attitudes. Will this further advance the kingdom of God? Will this hinder someone's walk? As Christians, we are called to be intentional, thoughtful, courageous in our actions..

May the power of the Holy Spirit guide you today. May you think His thoughts, being driven by what is beneficial for the kingdom of God.

A Submissive Heart

Something my missions professor talked a lot about this past semester was missionary calling. We debated in class if willing individuals, even if not best fit for the job, should be sent out as missionaries. For a homework assignment we read a story about a family applying to the mission field. As the readers, the students were supposed to determine weather or not this family should be sent out and why.

In this story, the father has many qualifications for the job, but his wife isn't exactly on board with the mission. In his interview with the mission board, he says that he is a pastor at a church and is just waiting to go overseas to make a difference. The problem I had with this particular guy was that he was so ready to go, that he wasn't willing to stay. He felt that he could learn so much overseas and serve God better there, but he wasn't willing to serve God in the church in the states.

We talked about this issue in class. Then my professor said this, "Here's the important thing for all missions, whether in the business world, church, overseas missions, or in the home as a parent, we all need to submit our will to God's". This concept of submitting means that I'm allowing God to take me where He wants me to go. The truth is, submission should happen at many different times throughout life. Sometimes we submit playing on a team to God, saying that we will bring Him the glory whether the outcome is a win or a loss. Sometimes we submit a challenging friendship to the Lord, asking Him to give wisdom. Sometimes we submit a relationship to Him, asking that it resemble Him rather than our own selfish desires.

Submission to God has an interesting outcome. When we submit to God, He recognizes our willing hearts and rewards us with what is in our best interests in the end. Always.

Furthermore, when we submit ourselves to God, a transformation takes place in us. Our hearts change from a self-seeking attitude to thankfulness. We recognize that all the things we have are from God and we are grateful for any of the blessings He gives us. That is God's desire for us in relationship with Him: that we would submit ourselves to Him, become dependent on His will, and thank Him for His provision. Sarah Young says, "Let my Presence bring order to your thoughts, infusing Peace to your entire being" Along with His direction, He gives us the gift of peace.

Romans 8:25, 28
"But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently...And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose"

All truly good things are good because they bring glory to God.

A woman is to reflect the God of heaven.

Dannah Gresh, author of And the Bride Wore White said, "We are incredible creations of God. If we lose the true essence of womanhood, we lose a very significant piece of what God has designed and the ability to fully reflect the God of heaven."

I heard Dannah Gresh speak at a purity summit when I was about 13. I wrote this quote down since my mom was sitting next to me, but a few years later was when it really started taking meaning to me. That meaning is this: what it means to reflect the God of heaven by honoring the men, and eventually one special man, He created.

Alright, so, when I created this blog its intent was to encourage others through writing about scripture and life experiences. I don't write a ton about my personal life or specifics, but there is a piece of the story of God's powerful transformation in my life I would like to share today.

When I was 12 years old, just a year before I attended this purity summit, I prayed one of the most significant prayers I had ever prayed. I had just learned my teenage cousin was pregnant. It broke my heart as she was someone I loved deeply and looked up to. I remember going off by myself, in tears, and just praying God's protection and love to be poured out over my cousin. In this prayer I began praying over her that she would seek after Christ. I was sad because I had seen her seek after Christ before and I wondered what happened. That's when my prayer began to change. I started praying over myself. I asked God to protect me. I never wanted to be separated from Him. I prayed, "God even if I stop seeking you, please find me. Protect me. No matter what I do, don't let me go". I continued praying for protection that no matter what I did in middle and high school, that God would protect my virginity and my spirit.

In the time between this prayer and the purity summit I attended, my family and I moved to intercity Chicago where I began making some unwise decisions, in particular dating a guy who wasn't following after the Lord. It was a slow process of getting off track, but after not too long I was clearly not seeking after the Lord. If I told people I was a pastor's kid, they would ask me the question: Really? My life was not reflecting the God of heaven.

It took a couple years of bad decisions, being grounded by my parents, and two very patient godly friends for me to change. At age 12 one of the most important things to me was guarding my heart and waiting for my husband. At age 16, I just wanted to give it away. Though I had two godly friends pouring into me, giving me Bible verses even when I told them to stop, I didn't value myself. The night that God transformed me was the night I had agreed to give it all away, to sleep with a guy who by no means would take any value in me. That night I just felt wrong about it and cancelled on him before it happened. That night I chose not to give myself over to a guy, but I gave my whole heart willingly to the One who would protect it for me. I chose to remember the plea I cried out at age 12, asking God to find me, no matter what I had done. And He has been faithful and just to restore me.

The rest of high school, I allowed God to transform me by choosing not to date any guy until college and to take the time to pray over my future husband. I believe I made a spiritual bond to this man I had not even met yet. I've been praying verses and over specific circumstances God has laid on my heart for him over the past four years. The Lord knows who he is, and I'm pretty sure I do too, but now is the time where I'm seeking after Christ, surrendering to His will. As I'm doing this, He is leading and restoring me with my best friend and the most wonderful man I know. He's a man who challenges me and is led by the desire to bring God Alone the Glory in everything he does...

What continually amazes me is God's amazing grace. I don't deserve any of the blessings He has bestowed upon me without it. It saddens me sometimes to think about life without Him, but when I do that I seek to remember Him and that He lives in me.

"And so we know and rely on the love of God. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them" -1 John 4:16. My prayer is this, that I would seek Christ daily, thanking him and resembling Him in my words and actions, so I may be a gift and a symbol of His love because He lives in me. May my heart be a pure heart and immense gift to the man God has called to be my partner in this life in order to encourage him for his work in the kingdom of God. May I fully reflect God.

I intend to be a gift for my husband and be the most mature version of myself I can be because of Christ. I pray that I may be graceful, compassionate, a servant. But may I also be a woman of honor.

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised" -Proverbs 31:30

What does a woman of honor look like besides who she is for her husband? When I think of a woman of  honor I think of a woman who doesn't call attention to herself. This is part of her personality, but it is also shown in how she dresses. Something else I remember learning about at this purity summit when I was 13 is that a woman shows a lot about who she is in how she dresses. God has made women to be men's beautiful companion, but when I see girls walking around in attention-calling clothing I don't think the word beautiful.

Some people say that modesty is a little extreme and "uncool", but what I think is an issue is when Christians start to model themselves after what the world seeks after. A woman fully submitted to the Lord should seek to please Him by serving her brothers in Christ.

Here's a video on modesty I listened to today to understand a little better about the way guys think:
http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=KLKZZWNX

In this video, the speaker says that women do not realize how difficult it is for a man when women are dressed provocatively. The most confusing thing for a guy is when women in the church dress this way and expect respect. Church is the place where people should be seeking to bear the image of God rather than that of the world.

This doesn't mean we should dress in crazy oversized, ugly clothes, but it's just a request to be modest.  I feel it would be selfish of me to seek out the attention of men who I will never marry. So if I, and at times I do, feel left out or wish I had not made this decision, I remind myself that I am giving up something in order to serve not only my future husband but also honoring my God. I am seeking to be selfless.

When we decide to live for ourselves rather than choosing to live God`s way, thats exactly what we do - condemn ourselves to destruction. To some extent, selfishness always leads to death of some sort.- Rebecca St. James

And that attitude of selfishness is a sinful attitude the Lord wants to transform in all of His creation. My challenge today is that we, as women, would make a conscious effort to truly live in love by honoring men in the way we dress and surrendering ourselves to seeking after the God who promises His love will never fail, the God of transforming love and grace. Your body is a temple to the Lord, ladies. You are beautiful, chosen and loved by the Almighty God of the universe. May you feel His great love today as you seek to reflect Him, the God of heaven.

Just a fraction

I remember so many people telling me that Jesus Christ understands all of our pain because He became human and lived in this sinful world. A friend questioned me recently, though, asking that if He experienced all our pain why He didn't experience heartbreak.

What I ask is this: What if we experience human heartbreak as merely a symbol, a fraction, of His heartbreak?

I think the real heartbreak is something that I, as a sinful human being, cannot fully grasp because Jesus Christ endured the highest level of suffering.

Kenosis is the concept that Christ emptied himself, giving up closeness with the Father in order to take on the nature of a servant. Phil. 2:7-8 "He made himself nothing by taking on the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death--even death on a cross" He gave up this closeness with the Father in order to save us, in His entire divinity, in the process taking on the complete nature of a servant. Christ does understand our heartbreak because He emptied Himself in order to experience it and through His obedience, He experienced a heartbreak on a much larger scale than we can humanly understand: death on a cross due to the rejection from creation to Creator.

We love because He has first loved us

From Our Daily Bread 

Written by David C. McCasland

Read 1 John 4:7-21

A friend described his grandmother as one of the greatest influences in his life. Throughout his adult years, he has kept her portrait next to his desk to remind himself of her unconditional love. “I really do believe,” he said, “that she helped me learn how to love.”

Not everyone has had a similar taste of human love, but through Christ each of us can experience being well-loved by God. In 1 John 4, the word love occurs 27 times, and God’s love through Christ is cited as the source of our love for God and for others. “In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins” (v.10). “We have known and believed the love that God has for us” (v.16). “We love Him because He first loved us” (v.19).

God’s love is not a slowly dripping faucet or a well we must dig for ourselves. It is a rushing stream that flows from His heart into ours. Whatever our family background or experiences in life—whether we feel well-loved by others or not—we can know love. We can draw from the Lord’s inexhaustible source to know His loving care for us, and we can pass it on to others.

In Christ our Savior, we are well-loved.

Loved with everlasting love,
Led by grace that love to know—
Spirit, breathing from above,
Thou hast taught me it is so! —Robinson

Nothing is more powerful than God’s love.

Walk with God.

It's a chilly summer evening. Rambunctious middle schoolers are giggling and yelling across the way to one another, while they wait for the last camp service to begin. It has been a crazy, wild week of swimming in the lake, sweating from intense games of soccer and other crazy games, singing worship songs, and staying up way too late with new friends at night. It's time to get serious though. Tonight is the night the camp's speaker is going to challenge these students. Tonight is the night he will speak about God's wrath and amazing grace, hoping students will make their way up by the fire pit and kneel to surrender their lives to their Savior. The revival service is underway and students are about to hear about their sin and the forgiveness God extends to each one of them through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

I remember this night at camp. I remember watching as many of my new camp friends gave their lives over to Christ. There were tears of joy and sorrow. Students hugged each other and apologized to each other for misunderstandings throughout the week. The same group of crazy kids who earlier couldn't shut up when they were asked were focused on the message of the gospel and responding to the challenge our speaker had given. The only problem about that night, which was evident to me even as a fifth grader, was that I wondered if these newly saved individuals would truly be reconciled. I wondered who would go home and forget and who would continue to submit to God's will for his life.

Colossians 3 states that when an individual is saved, he is dead to his old self and alive in his new self in Jesus Christ (verse 3). That night at camp, many students were responding to this concept. They wanted to be alive in Christ, but life in Christ means more than just that first moment of surrender. There is a responsibility each individual has in order to truly take part in this life in Christ.

Living for God means recognizing my sin (Sin: A deliberate act, attitude, or action that goes against the kingdom of God) and turning from my sin in order to be reconciled with Him (Reconciliation: reestablishing a close relationship).

And that's where many people stop. Confession, a promise to change. Done. I'm going to heaven. Check. Check. Check.

But what does it mean to be in close relationship with Him? I mean at camp, we learned that God would transform us, but they never explained what He would transform us into.

Colossians 3:10 says "Put on the new self which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of the Creator". This means if I am transformed, my mind is changed and the design is to be more like Christ. SO what is "Christ-like"  ?

Verse 12 gives the answer, saying we should take on the attitudes of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Furthermore, the rest of this passage calls individuals to forgive, love, and be thankful. In doing these things, we are allowing the peace of God to rule in our hearts. And the thing is that if we mess up, which we will, God continues to love us and challenge us to walk in His ways: the ways of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.

My challenge today is to seek to comprehend what is means to walk with God. I challenge you to take a step beyond your camp-like faith and seek to love in the way God created us to love. Throw away that "salvation check list" and ask God not how he can make your life better, but how you can continue to walk with Him.

Instead of a show- Jon Foreman

I hate all your show and pretense
The hypocrisy of your praise
The hypocrisy of your festivals
I hate all your show
Away with your noisy worship
Away with your noisy hymns
I stomp on my ears when you're singing 'em
I hate all your show

Instead let there be a flood of justice
An endless procession of righteous living, living
Instead let there be a flood of justice
Instead of a show

Your eyes are closed when you're praying
You sing right along with the band
You shine up your shoes for services
There's blood on your hands
You turned your back on the homeless
And the ones that don't fit in your plan
Quit playing religion games
There's blood on your hands

Instead let there be a flood of justice
An endless procession of righteous living, living
Instead let there be a flood of justice
Instead of a show
I hate all your show

Let's argue this out
If your sins are blood red
Let's argue this out
You'll be one of the clouds
Let's argue this out
Quit fooling around
Give love to the ones who can't love at all
Give hope to the ones who got no hope at all
Stand up for the ones who can't stand at all, all
I hate all your show
I hate all your show
I hate all your show
I hate all your show

Instead let there be a flood of justice
An endless procession of righteous living, living
Instead let there be a flood of justice
Instead of a show
I hate all your show

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/instead_of_a_show_lyrics_jon_foreman.html
All about Jon Foreman: http://www.musictory.com/music/Jon+Foreman

A grateful heart.

Gratitude: acknowledgement of a benefit, thankfulness, appreciation.

I remember the days in middle school when my dad would drive me to school. I usually took the bus, but on certain mornings my dad would say "well, how about a hash brown and some dad time". I appreciated the breakfast and ride to school, but I was not a morning person. I didn't really say a lot on those mornings. I pitty laughed at my dad's morning puns and let him talk about global issues. Then it hit me one morning after we had eaten and were on the highway. I have a dad who wants to spend that time with me. He wants to spend money on me and push his meetings until 7:30 (my dad's a morning person) just to take me to school. He wanted to spend these little moments with me. He didn't want to call himself a dad just because he took care of my basic needs. He wanted to have a relationship with his daughter. That morning as I got out of the car I told my dad "thank you" wholeheartedly. I remember that moment because it was the first time I remember being able to grasp, at least a little bit, why we say thank you to one another.

My dad is one of the people in this world that I love and respect the most. When I'm struggling with an issue I feel that I can often look to his life and see how he handles things. My dad isn't perfect, but he's always told me his goal is to love me the way God wants him to and to be a steward in being my earthly father. What makes my dad an amazing father is the source of who he is. My heavenly Father created my father and gives him wisdom, grace, love, and joy to pass on to me. My dad isn't one of those people who always has something to say. He's not one who always has to take the spotlight. He always gives to me with a humble heart, not expecting a thank you.

That, to me, is just a window into the love God has for us. He is always giving to us and never forces us to thank Him for any of it. That doesn't make Him a push over or anything though, because my dad is always pushing me. Sometimes when he sees things I need to work on he lets me figure it out, but sometimes he challenges me. He will say his opinion without sugarcoating and expects me to take his advise fully or reject it completely. That's how God is with us too.

I've been thinking a lot about the type of relationship God wants to have with us. Reading the book Disappointment with God by Philip Yancey opened my mind to what kind of heart I should have for God, a grateful heart. This book was written about doubt, about the questions we have when God doesn't always seem to answer our prayers. What do we do when we feel like God isn't really there? What about when we are disappointed? This book challenged me to think about the Israelites. God provided for their every need. In that time God had a very obvious presence. He provided mana for them to eat daily and yet they were disappointed. They worshiped other gods and chose to sin against God. Their "faith" was very dependent on what God could do for them and when he didn't seem to give them what they wanted, they sinned.

So here I am in this world where God seems to have a silent presence at times. Just like my dad challenges me, I feel like God is challenging me in order to produce the most authentic, grateful, graceful, and loving version of myself I can possibly be. My prayer is for this grateful heart to grow, to thank Him when I make sacrifices and when I'm blessed. I pray that I can accept His blessings and use them in the way He intends. I pray that I may follow His guidance and seek His will in these things.

God is a God of restoration, renewal, and new strength. I praise Him for this today and ask that I may continue to seek Him in all I do and say.

Thank you God.

Audience of One.

Awaken

There’s an image you have of me

It’s just what you’ve gathered

Of what I want you to see

The manner in which I deviate

The depth in which I allow you to wonder into my intricate sin

The screaming arm raising surrender in corporate worship

And my exaggeration of my servitude façade

The authenticity

I twist it for my advantage or search of condolence

In the audience I try to make full of millions

It’s always millions

Plus one

Even in composing these gripping thoughts

I question my incentive

As one is examining the motivations of my heart

This façade even if close to home

It disappoints, it destroys, it nullifies

This imagined falsified audience of one

It’s thwarted by incomparable, constant, perfect one

The image you have of me

And the image I lust for you to have of me

Burn it, smolder it

I surrender

I cannot attain it

He had no reputation

I build one accidently, sinfully, fully, purposefully

It’s impossible to strive for perfection

Without a possible suffice able one

Desperately in need of help

Let go of your opinion of me

Positive, negative

Sway

Crash, fall

Surmise

Away spectators

Wake up

Watch me, walk beside me

Audience of one, companion 

Motivated by Love?

Who are you living for? Yourself? A close friend, spouse, or relative? God?

If you answered God or want to answer God, read along with me as I write these words:

1 Corinthians 13:1-3
If I speak in the tongues^[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,^[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Is love motivating your actions? Is it reigning in your thoughts?

This is a check for me too. I've been getting aggravated lately with a lot of people because I've realized how much conversation has not been directed at pleasing God. It has been centered around speaking poorly of others (others that He calls by name and loves dearly). I'm trying to get this temptation to gossip out of my life and the more I do it, the more I can't stand to be around it. The more I can't stand to be around it, the more I notice these girls can't stand to be around me.

Here's what I want to say to that:

Why do you criticize me, looking for me to fix your life for you? Why do you get disappointed in me when I don't act exactly as you tell me to? Stop seeking me to solve your problems. Seek after Him.

You can choose to be disappointed. You can choose to talk behind my back, but what is motivating you?

Your actions make me sad not because you are hurting me, but because He calls us to live in such real life.

Something I wrote last summer:

Someone pointed out to me that I said the word "like" all the time. I started trying to fix that. I really tried to stop saying "he was like...and then she was like..." and I replaced it with saying "he said...and then she said..." That really bothered me too. Then I realized why: I was gossiping. Maybe I started using the word "like" to make myself realize it less, but now it stings... May I instead focus on the words the Lord my God says. May His words be quick to my lips, rather than me hiding behind my gossiping hideousness that always hides deeper intricate vocabulary. May I seek to better know and understand how deep, how wide, and how vast my God's love is for all the people I have gossiped about. May my "like" for people grow to love.

Many women get into this lifestyle of gossip because they desire having close connection with other women. They desire expressing their opinions and feeling a sense of control about situations they have crazy feelings but no actual control over. Women (and men) seek to gossip for some sort of personal gain (being heard, expressing feelings, pride, etc).

May His words be quick to my lips. May His gain be quick to my heart...

Philippians 3:7-8

But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. ⁸ What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ

So this being driven by love thing...I don't have it all figured out. I'm only asking for wisdom, laying down anything that may be to my profit and seeking what would please God in order to gain Christ.

From the words of 1 Corinthians 13, remember that what may seem to be a profit is nothing without love, that is the Love that comes from Jesus Christ. 

First let us lay down our lives in order to gain Christ. It is through that, that we may gain His love. It is through gaining His love that we may show His love. In showing His love, may our lives be fruitful of our Love, Jesus Christ.

So once again I ask, who are you living for? 

How are you going to show it?

Bible meditation

Bible meditation- Slow, careful reading of selective Bible passages.

How do we do this?

Pick out the keywords of a verse.
Take these words and look for how you can relate them to Jesus Christ's character.

Take Micah 6:8, the verse I included in my previous post today:

Seek justice
Love mercy
Walk humbly
With your God

Justice-reasonable fairness. Read John 8:1-11. In this story an adulterous woman is about to be stoned for her sins. In verse 7, Jesus says "Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her" . This story shows Jesus as just because He is the judge. He shows His power and judges individuals for their own sin, saying they cannot judge others when they themselves are sinners.
Mercy-grace upon grace, forgiveness. This same passage in John 8 shows the mercy of God. He forgives this woman and tells her to live free of her sin.
Humility-A modest or low view of one's importance. Read Matthew 20:20-28. In this story two sons of Zebedee ask to sit on each side of Jesus in heaven.Jesus tells them to serve rather than seeking to be served. Verse 28 reads "the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

How can we implement these concepts in our lives today? How can our lives look more like the life of Jesus Christ?

We were made to be courageous.

Okay new favorite movie, hands down, Courageous. This movie made me laugh, cry, and just tugged at my heart so much.

This movie was such a call to action to be authentic people of God. This movie captured the lives of five fathers and their families. One of the fathers came up with a covenant for the men to sign about what it means to be an earthly father. These men all signed this covenant as a promise to their families and God to teach their children about God and love them as the Father has loved us. After they signed this covenant, their pastor told them they were double accountable.

It got me to thinking about my covenant with God and what our (Christian's) responsibility is with God once we give our lives to Him. Since becoming a Christian, I have still had problems. I have still experienced hurt, doubt, brokenness, but my responsibility as a believer is to be seeking Him. I am twice as accountable because I know the truth and I have walked with my Father.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkM-gDcmJeM

Seek justice. Love mercy. Walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8

Make me courageous, God. May I honor you by being your follower. May I continue to seek you.

Fall

I was walking with my friend Becks today when I just said STOP and I made us just smell the fall air! I just wanted to soak it all in as I saw all the different shades of yellow, red, and orange leaves hanging off trees and just resting over the grass. I love this scene of leaves scattered everywhere, highlighting the beautiful brick buildings and large stretches of grass across the campus mall.


I love fall. And I love it for more than just the beautiful scenery. Fall is this time of change.


Change is something many people talk about with fear. Change brings about discomfort. In fact, this change of leaves falling brings about a discomfort in recognizing that it will be time soon for shoveling snow and bundling up for the blistering cold that will be coming.


Something else I love about fall is the wind. Sometimes the wind is pretty strong and makes me wish I had put on another sweatshirt, but I love it because it's this physical reminder that God is there. I can't see Him, but I see the effects of Him all around me. Sometimes He hollers right through the brisk air, but sometimes He is quiet. In these times that change happens because of the wind, He reminds me of His beauty because He orchestrates all of these changes and all of the life around me.


I am thankful today because I have a God who is alive! I have a God who is in control! I have a God who thought up of new seasons and allows the world to go right on going on because He is holding it in His hands.

I surrender.

"Surrender means I accept reality"- John Ortberg

I surrender today to the fact that I am not God. I surrender the gifts He has given me in order to say thank you that the people in my life are not my god. I surrender in order to say He created all things.

I accept the reality that I am not God. I accept the reality that this life is not about bringing myself glory. I accept the reality of just how undeserving I am of an incredible God that loves me immensely and covers me in grace.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vg3-1PvWuMk

Hungry- Joy Williams:
Hungry, I come to You
For I know You satisfy
I am empty but I know
Your love does not run dry

Chorus:
So I wait for You
So I wait for You

I'm falling on my knees
Offering all of me
Jesus, You're all this heart 
Is living for

Broken, I run to You 
For Your arms are open wide
I am weary but I know
Your touch restores my life

Chorus

I'm falling on my knees
Offering all of me
Jesus, You're all this heart 
Is living for

Hungry, I come to You
For I know You satisfy
I am empty but I know
Your love does not run dry

Just keep walking, even if that means taking baby steps.

This is from the daily devotional book Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.
Be encouraged by the God who loves you and supports you every step of the way, even in your smallest steps.

"Do not be discouraged by the difficulty of keeping your focus on Me. I know that your heart's desire is to be aware of My Presence continually. This is a lofty goal; you aim toward it but never fully achieve it in this life. Don't let feelings of failure weigh you down. Instead, try to see yourself as I see you. First of all, I am delighted by your deep desire to walk closely with Me through your life. I am pleased each time you initiate communication with Me. In addition, I notice the progress you have made since you first resolved to live in My Presence.
When you realize that your mind has wandered away from Me, don't be alarmed or surprised. You live in a world that has been rigged to distract you. Each time you plow your way through the massive distractions to communicate with Me, you achieve a victory. Rejoice in these tiny triumphs, and they will increasingly light up your days"

Hebrews 4:14-16
 ¹⁴ Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven,^[a] Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. ¹⁵ For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. ¹⁶ Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

I promise...

I will stand by you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARbZuiHWBOY

Who is in control?

Imagine you and your husband are in the army. He is taken captive with 4 other men. You have the opportunity to save their lives and get information for the army. You have to make a sacrifice for this though. You must sleep with the leader in order for this freedom and information. You are about eighty percent sure if you make this choice that your husband and other soldiers will be spared.

Would you do it?

In Christian beliefs class the other day we talked about this concept. In the Ten Commandments, it is written that it is a sin to commit adultery. If I was the wife, I'd have to say no because my obligation to my God is stronger than my obligation to my husband or my country. Some say, what if if was God's will? God's will never leads one to sin.

1 Corinthians 10:13 says, "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it"

God will always provide a way out. Even if the result is something we least desire.

Some in class would disagree with this saying "But I could have saved him!" This concerns me. Who are you believing to be in control? I'd rather say "But God could have saved him!"

I've been thinking a lot about control lately too. I've been hurt a lot lately with something people are trying to control. I am doing what I feel the Lord is leading me to, but it is causing a lot of issues. These people say they are trying to do what they are doing to help me and because they love me, but I don't see them going about this in prayer. I see them trying to fix something. I know they just want to help, but I'm not seeing prayerful attitudes. Instead I'm seeing attitudes of gossip.

A lot of people would agree with me that it is wrong to gossip. They see how it's hurtful, but they also say it's okay at times, if it's in order to help someone. I know there are times to step in. I get that, but I just want to challenge you (and myself) before you gossip about someone, ask if you are telling someone as a real act of desperation for help or if it is to help you to feel better about a situation. If it really is an act of desperation, are you spending time praying and in the word before confrontation? Are you doing something about it? Or are you just trying to be heard? Are you just trying to feel better about yourself and seeking affirmation?

Proverbs 11:12-13
Whoever derides their neighbor has no sense, but the one who has understanding holds their tongue. A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.

Chew on this with me today.

Colossians 3:1-17

 ¹ Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. ² Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. ³ For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. ⁴ When Christ, who is your^[a] life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

 ⁵ Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. ⁶ Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.^[b] 7 You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. ⁸ But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. ⁹ Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices ¹⁰ and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. ¹¹Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.

 ¹² Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. ¹³ Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ¹⁴ And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

 ¹⁵ Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. ¹⁶ Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. ¹⁷ And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

I will find you when you seek me with all of your heart.

My dearest Anna, my daughter, my princess, my treasure,

You say you’re lost. You say your pain is heavy. You say your burden is ugly. You say your heart is broken. I’m here to say your lack of direction is admirable, your pain is light in me, your recognition of your burden is strong, your broken heart is beautiful. 

I’m here to give you my love to purify you. I’m here to give you my comfort to console you. I’m here to catch you to save you. I’m here in the name of peace, joy, and grace. In the name of the creator, the enabler, the savior. In the name of the Lord your God, in the name of the Holy Sprit, and in the name of Jesus Christ.

I’m here to hold your whole heart. I’m here to transform your whole mind. I’m here to give you whole peace. I’m here to give you whole life.

You say find me. Remember that I will find you but only if you seek me.

Matthew 6:25-34 (Fear not. For I am the one who feeds the birds.)

Love, Your Father. Your biggest support. Your God.

God is good.

Okay I just found this on my computer. It's something I wrote about a year ago and just had to put up here:

When I read Genesis 12: 3, which says, “I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you” I thought a lot about what this means to have God’s blessing. I thought about God blessing in a financial sense and as a provider, but I think it means more than that. Everything is a gift from Christ, so that we may glorify Him. This blessing is supposed to be a comfort and a reminder that what we have is not really ours, but God’s. When we hurt one another He will not be pleased, but when we give ourselves to Him, He allows us to bless others and bring joy to their lives through us. This blessing isn’t about trying to get God on “our own side” as we often do when we fight with a friend or go through a break up. God blesses us so we can bless others, rather than hurting them even when we are wronged. Genesis 5:1 talks about being made in the likeness of God. This might mean we are made looking like Him in a physical sense, but more importantly made to be “like Christ”. We seek to be like Him so we can bring His love to others, not out of bitterness or conceit to trying to get God to be against others. His blessings are perfect and as we humble ourselves to Him, we can bring His love and blessing to other people’s lives.

Furthermore, if you only view God as good when you get what you want then you’re really just viewing yourself as good. You seek to gratify your desires and when you don’t get what you want you blame God. Where is your faith? Who are you believing to be good? What does good mean anymore?

God is good. Good, which means true goodness. He is good all the time. He is not “Mother Teresa good”. He is greater. "The Lord is good, a Strength and Stronghold in the day of trouble; He knows (recognizes, has knowledge of, and understands) those who take refuge and trust in Him. Nahum 1:7 (AMP)" He is good because He made, made again, and makes new. He is a solid rock ("He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken" Psalm 62:6). He is good because He never changes. He is good because even when we think we deserve exactly what we want, He does not force us to trust Him or love Him. God is good: all the time. Even when it is beyond comprehension.

Space.

I have so many thoughts screaming through my brain that I can't even begin to express right now and I don't feel like going into detail. God knows.

I know some could look at me wondering why I am pushing away in friendships, but I just can't handle investing in most of them right now. Maybe this is selfish, but I just need space. Never have I ever felt so suffocated, broken, set apart, but I need it.

In this time of being broken, I am running. I am running straight to God. I am stretching my arms out so far ahead of me, yearning for Him, needing Him more than anything or anyone I can even imagine.

I'm sorry if you're my friend and I'm pushing you away. I'm sorry that I seem to be selfish right now, but I just need time. I need to grow with God now. Please just let go of me. For now.

I know the purpose of this blog has been to be an encouragement to friends and anyone who happens to stumble upon my ramblings, so I'm sorry this post isn't friendly. I'm sorry to be a discouragement. I promise I will write to encourage again. I just need time.

"I Will Show You Love" by Kendall Payne:

I will show you love like you've never loved before
I will go the distance and back for more if you just say the word
'Cause you will come alive again
Call the trying times your friend
Pain that you have suffered through
Never get the best of you
You will hope in something real
Won't depend on how you feel
When you call my name, then I will answer, answer

Cause I am on your side
Though the wind and waves
Beat against your faith
You were on my mind
When the world was made
Trust in me my child,
Trust in me my child

Walk out on the water
You have no control
Scared of every failure
Sacrifice your soul, please let that go

Cause you have climbed an uphill road
You have worn a heavy load
You have cried through endless nights
Nearly giving up the fight
Watch your dreams like fallen stars
Heartache made you who you are
Looking back you see that I've always been there

Cause I am on your side
Though the wind and waves
Beat against your faith
You were on my mind
When the world was made
Trust in me my child,
Trust in me my child

Where you gonna hide, where you gonna hide from me?
Where you gonna go, where you gonna go that I can't see?

Cause I have heard your cry
And it breaks my heart, for I love you so
I will never lie
This is not the end
There is still a hope

Cause I am on your side
Though the wind and waves
Beat against your faith
You were on my mind
When the world was made
Trust in me my child,
Trust in me my child

He restores my soul- Psalm 23

There's something about rainbows that have always been special in my life. I remember three significant times when I saw rainbows.

The first one I saw when I was twelve. This day I spent quite a bit of time in prayer for my teenage cousin who I found out was pregnant. In this prayer, I started praying for myself, for my own protection. I prayed, "Oh God, protect me. Find me even in the days when I don't seek you". And, oh, how He protected me. Oh, how He found me on the very night my sophomore year of high school when I almost made one of the dumbest decisions of my life. He found me. I walked out of the house after this prayer and saw the most beautiful rainbow. In that moment I felt as if God was promising to me, "I will find you". He didn't let go.

The second one I saw in Colorado this summer. I felt God was giving me the promise, "I will restore you". I didn't understand what this meant at the time, but it was a promise I've clung to and seen answers to within the last couple months.

The last one I saw at the end of this summer, before some major events happened. I felt as if God was saying "Don't forget that I'm here. I'm holding you. I'm not going to let go. I am with you"

So that sortof explains the purpose of a rainbow on my blog. It's a reminder that God keeps His promises. He finds, restores, and extends constant companionship.

Sometimes God gives us direction over time. Sometimes He reveals things to us sooner. One of the many things that is amazing about our constant God is that He never lets go. He is a God of promise. He promised to restore me and He is still bringing me back to Him.

What an incredible God.

Be encouraged today that you have a constant, loving God. He keeps His promises and restores in the most unexpected but beautiful ways. 

Wake up and reconnect.

Today I just have this desire to climb into my bed and not talk to anyone for a good chunk of time. I don't feel like reaching out. I don't feel like moving. I feel like being sorry for myself. I don't want anyone to bug me and yet I crave some sort of affection. Maybe it's not bad to do nothing for awhile sometimes, but it tends to put me in this mood.

Why is it that I get stuck in this mood of disconnect? Where I actually think being disconnected with God gets me anywhere.

When I get disconnected I feel like I'm stuck in this darkness. I feel dead, without God. Thank goodness He still finds me when I pull away. Thank goodness He is outside of time and can see all my uncertainties. Thank goodness He is constant and reliable and worthy of my patience and solitude. He is worthy of the life in my eyes. He is worthy of overflowing from my spirit.

"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there...If I say "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you" -Psalm 139:7,11-12

Approved.

Looking around on campus today, I've been paying attention to what I can tell about a person by the way he or she dresses, or sits, or talks. It's interesting to me that I see a common theme. Most of these people seemed to be doing what they were doing due to the response he or she received from others.

We tried an experiment in my science class today. In psychology last year we were told about a study about confidence. In a classroom, students were told to pay attention and engage in class when the teacher was standing on the left side of the room but to ignore the teacher and seem distracted on the right side. The teacher showed discomfort by speaking and standing nervously when he was standing on the right side of the class. The class conditioned him to stand on the left side...A couple guys in my class were intrigued by this study, so we have been trying this in science this week, just to make the class a little more interesting. It's pretty crazy to see what the approval of people does for one's self-esteem.

I started thinking about this today. How often do we spend time throughout the day seeking to please a parent, a best friend, or even a total stranger?

Yes, having a parent, a friend, or a stranger's approval can be appropriate at times. (This is why I don't go streaking or anything. That wouldn't exactly be socially acceptable or respectful). I know there's times when it is appropriate to apologize to people for things (like when you have wronged them, or when you need to mature- which ends up being an action that actually glorifies God), but I'm done apologizing to people for being me. I'm not going to stop wearing my sock monkey cap, even if it makes me look like a little kid, because I like it. I am not going to stop writing a blog, because I sound like a rambler to someone, because I find fulfillment in using this gift God has given me. I am not going to apologize for holding more conservative views than others on things, like not taking God's name in vain, because I do this out of respect and love for Him. I do this because I don't like His name associated with negative or even degrading things.

Now, there is a warning against becoming prideful here. The world tells us to be ourselves and not apologize. The world also approves of selfishness. They advise one to seek his feelings or desires. If we acted to this extreme, we wouldn't be furthering the Kingdom of God.

God's word says:
"Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ". -Galations 1:10

Chew on this with me today as I think about how to use the gifts God has given me, in ways that bring glory to Him and Him alone.

Bloom where you are planted.

"Anxiety is a result when you view your future without Me" -Sarah Young

The other day I blogged about dreams. Earlier today I blogged about being driven by patience in His will rather than emotions.

Dreams aren't bad. Praying for the future isn't bad, but what is wrong is putting such a heavy focus on that to the point of forgetting about the Great Commission God calls us all to. The purpose of our lives is to, as His creation, be brought back in to harmony with our Maker (Rob Bell). As we seek restoration with Christ, we need to be completely focused on bringing Him glory rather than seeking to fulfill our own desires.

The purpose of marriage is to be a support system for your spouse, encouraging them for their roles in advancing the kingdom of God. So why put such a focus on dreams about the future? Especially if we are not picturing God in this future.

Picturing God in the future is not simply imagining going to church and serving. These things are good, but that's the danger in it. If these things are good and we picture ourselves as doing these things, we are imagining ourselves as good church goers, good parents, good spouses, and good servants. We forget, in these imaginations, who the meaning good is actually derived from. There is no good apart from God.

Furthermore, the person who obsesses over the future will obsess over the past. It's a pattern. Just look at the way the world operates. If we are so focused on our time, our past, our future, then we won't give where we are. We won't be seeking how to serve God. We will just be seeking to meet our desires.

So stop. Stop trying to figure it all out. Stop obsessing over the future and just live. Live patiently and compassionately. Live selflessly. Bloom right where you're planted, living each day surrendered to the way God wants to use you in every moment. Recognize the presence He has in every second. Relish these moments and when you lack joy cling to His promise to restore you with Him. Don't cling to His promise to bless you (which He will as you abide in Him). Cling simply to His character, His will. Be comforted in the fact that He is outside of time. The more you imagine your life in His will, the more you will let go of the anxiety of everyday.

"As the father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commands and remain in His love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete" -John 15:9-11