Relating with God: Making the intangible tangible

Something that I'm passionate about is marketing. Through my marketing classes at school, I've been the most interested in the concept of target marketing. Basically, if a company has a good or service they are producing, they need to figure out the need for the good or service. A target market is a specific group of people that a company views as its potential customers. The goal is for the company to represent quality and status of itself to this potential customer to catch his attention, leading to the sale of a good or service. Everything a company does should be analyzed to see if it fits the target market of its potential customer.

For any market to be reached, a company needs to figure out how to make tangible products and intangible services more tangible for the customer. The more tangible a product or service is to the customer, the more a customer is likely to make a purchase.

One example: a customer walks in to IKEA to see what kinds of organizational products exist. IKEA is designed to reach customers who care about three things: efficient organization, low prices, and the environment. In order to reach these people who value these things, IKEA has designed its entire store to show its products. There are displays throughout the entire store that invite the customer to see what products would look like in his home. Some of the displays are set up as tiny studio apartments, designed to show all IKEA products that improve space quality in the home. IKEA has a restaurant at the top floor. Every single item used in the restaurant is a product sold in the store: every item from the light fixtures, to the chairs, to the plates the food is served on. IKEA makes its products tangible by giving customers the chance to see how products work and could potentially benefit the customer.

One example of a service is the insurance office I work for. I meet with customers and talk to them about the quality of State Farm insurance. My coworkers and I sell policies that protect customers in future events. The challenge we have is helping customers assess their needs with the resources they have. We don't want to sell customers more insurance coverage then they need, but we need to make sure they are fully covered in the event of a claim. When we get done writing a policy, we hand customers a piece of paper that explains their coverages and outlines their premium plans. Something we encounter everyday is how do we show customers that we represent quality service and that we are trustworthy when we are talking about protecting them in future events? That's a huge part of my role in my office is thinking about the customers we serve and how to give customers quality in the present. Besides being efficient with payments and friendly on the phone, I find ways to represent quality with our marketing materials. Part of our budget allows for us to purchase products that we can give away to people who walk into our office. When clients come in with their kids, sometimes I'll give a kid a State Farm teddy bear. We give out calendars with my agent's name on them to our clients. Sometimes I'll order a bunch of potted plants and take them to customers who are in the hospital after a horrible accident or to their houses after a family member has passed away. Giving out free items to customers doesn't "make" a business, but it is a kind gesture that shows you care. It shows the quality of your care from a personal and a business standpoint.

Why am I so intrigued by this concept of tangibility? I think some of us are really, really good at seeing intangible things and figuring out what to do with them. Like numbers people. Like my dad, he is so good at sitting down with a whole bunch of expenses and numbers and creating budgets and plans for a business. I am the opposite. If I sit down and look at an accounting assignment, all I see is a bunch of numbers. They mean nothing to me. It's always been that way for me. I liked math in elementary school because my teachers would take physical things to describe math problems. My third grade teacher taught us math with using candy. We would act out the problems using the pieces. It made it tangible for me to understand the purpose of the assignment.

I think because I like tangible things, I have struggled often with the presence of God. Last year I really struggled with this concept. It was a day when I was down about something and I was praying to God. When I was in prayer, I asked Him why I couldn't just be hugged by Him. I know thats kind of a weird thing to ask. Whenever I pictured God, I always pictured this huge guy just sitting on this golden throne, unapproachable. In my mind, I knew God was loving but I didn't feel that closeness. I knew I couldn't just run up and hug God and for some reason that was really hard for me. As I was wrestling with this, I really started asking God for faith.

As I was asking for this faith, I was trying to listen to people who I knew believe in God. I remember sitting in chapel almost every tuesday and thursday of my sophomore year hearing people's testimonies. In almost every testimony, I heard the speaker say something along the lines of "God transformed me and I realized it wasn't about religion but it is about a relationship with Him. He started changing so much in my life for good and now I am living every day for Him. Let's pray". That's how just about all of the sermons would conclude and I was always left unsatisfied. I wanted to know more. What did this relationship with God look like on a day-to-day basis? What about the bad days? How does a redeemed person trust and relate with this perfect God every single day, even when sinful and bad things still come up? I started getting really bitter last year because I wondered why, even though I've always had so much faith and reverence for God, why I didn't feel physically close to Him.

As I've written about in my blog before, God really used this past summer in Colorado in my life. He gave me this gift of tangibility. I loved driving twenty minutes in the mountains on my way to work because I could see the creative and magnificent God reflected in the natural world around me. I loved hiking with my friend Tana on the weekends because we could just get so lost in this world. It really hit me the day I was hiking the fourteener (mountains in colorado that are taller than 14000 feet) Quandary. It hit me that I WAS relating with God. All of the time I was asking God questions in the car on the way to work and expressing my frustrations and my lack of understanding, all of the time I spend hiking and thinking about all of the things I was seeing, and all of the people God used in my life this summer who gave me hugs and talked to me about God's love for me when I didn't even believe He could love someone like me. God WAS relating to me. God WAS tangibly reaching down to me. He WAS listening to me and giving me this faith and deep desire to know Him. Through the things He made: I saw His beauty in the mountains, I saw His character in my good friend Tana and in the members of the family I lived with this summer.

It also hit me one day when I was on my lunch break. I was eating lunch in one of my favorite places: a mountainy park with all this beautiful red rock. There was this spot that I liked to hike to that had this perfect rock to sit on and dangle me feet over. I was talking on the phone to my best friend Joy who lives in Chicago, way too far away! I've known Joy since I was four years old. We've seen each other grow and transform in so many incredible ways through the years. This summer was really hard being so far away from her when we both had a lot going on. There were many times when we were talking that I just wanted to give her a hug and I couldn't, but I knew she was there. And my gratitude for my friendship with her just grew immensely this summer. God was giving me this friendship that I had known since just about when I can start remembering. God shows his character through Joy Dean because He is consistent and her friendship has been consistent in my life.

So I've had this realization that God has created people and things to represent Himself. We are called to love one another and treasure one another because we represent God's love to each other. Of course we have to be careful about depending on these things. If I get disappointed in people, I have to be careful not to get disappointed in God too, and man I struggle with that because I am so focused on tangible life.

But that's kind of when the concept of relationship with people makes sense to me. That's how it makes sense to me that God blesses me with roommates and friendships and perhaps a certain guy ;) ...Relationships are blessings that God gives us to bring us all to Him. We have to ask for the faith to see Him even in disappointment and to see Him through His creation. We have to choose to worship the Creator for these blessings, not His created things.

When we ask for that faith and spend time with the people we are thankful for and ask Him to show Himself to the people we encounter, we are relating with Him. God wants our hearts. He created our hearts and wants us to express the things we love to Him.

In the past year, I have developed this deep desire to have stronger faith even when I can't point to things and say that's why I want to believe more. I just do. And the only explanation I have to explain that desire is that I was created for it.

I'll leave with this last thought that comes from a story in Matthew. It's a story of darkness and a father with a heavy heart for his son. A father who loved his son in the midst of such a desperate and heavy situation and a father whose faith still led him to ask his hearts deepest desire. It's a story about a God who uses his people to heal and give, but about a people who have little faith and a lot of doubt. It's a story about a God who takes compassion and gave this man faith and healing in the situation, even though there was sin and unbelief present. It's a story that shows us how to ask for healing, but even more how to embrace faith and trust the Lord in every single thing we do in faith:

When they came to the crowd, a man approached Jesus and knelt before him.  “Lord, have mercy on my son,” he said. “He has seizures and is suffering greatly. He often falls into the fire or into the water. I brought him to your disciples, but they could not heal him.”

“You unbelieving and perverse generation,” Jesus replied, “how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy here to me.” Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of the boy, and he was healed at that moment.

Then the disciples came to Jesus in private and asked, “Why couldn’t we drive it out?”

He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

Matthew 17:14-21

"You can have all this world, just give me Jesus"

I'm the character in a movie. I'm walking down the city street. My surroundings are blurred and I'm just walking. I've experienced something that I can't shake. I'm changed while all this normal goes on around me.

I've heard stories from friends before who didn't like going home because of family issues there. I've never known what it was like to have an incredibly heavy issue when I went home until recently.

I've felt this heavy disappointment and darkness. When I feel this heaviness, sometimes God seems far away, but what I have had to come to realize by the end of this week is that when we are disappointed in the world, we are really disappointed with sin, not God.

To understand the hope I have in Jesus I have to first look into what sin really is.

Sin is seeing our current situations and making some sort of justification for our behavior. Take the story of Adam and Eve. They justified their sin of eating of the forbidden fruit based on the fact that they were tricked by the devil. When we sin, we justify our actions. We can believe anything to be okay. A friend could betray another friend, telling a secret promised to be kept in confidence. A man could beat up another man because he was wronged in a financial situation. A husband or wife could cheat on his or her spouse because he or she feels there was a lack of affection from the spouse. A lonely man could drink himself sick because he feels he cannot cope in the situations life has brought him. But when we justify ourselves there is no end to what we'll do.

Take the story of Cain and Able. One brother was jealous of the other. He made a justification for his behavior that was so strong it lead to him murdering his brother.

And the thing is once we justify the "little things" like telling white lies or cheating on taxes or eating the forbidden fruit, we can justify just about anything  like betraying our most loved ones or murdering someone.

That is indeed why Christ's sacrifice was so incredibly immaculate. We, humans, justified to the point of murder, so He saved us by taking all of our darkest sin upon himself to justify and purify us.

And that is where the hope is found. We can't do it on our own at all. All we do to fix our problems is to justify and justify our ways. But his love and Holy Spirit inside of us are strong enough to lead us to complete surrender and love for Him.

The hard thing is that we all have choices. I'm feeling the heaviness of a situation I have no control or choice over, but I know He is good. I don't understand why some choices have been made. I wish they weren't. I wish it didn't affect me the way it does. I wish I didn't feel as displaced as I do in going home, but that's when God reminds me of another truth: He is my home. He is my hope, my desire, my faith, my rock and cornerstone.

In my weakness and inability to do anything in this situation reminds me of His strength. I have to depend on Him and fully rely on His wisdom in every way I respond to a situation I have no control over.

And again, the heaviness I feel is the sin of the world. The inconsistencies I see are people who choose ways that are not His. God consistently loves us and consistently hates our sin. And praise Him! Because He is consistent. Praise Him because He is always, always good.

And He is good weather He heals or not.

"Even if the healing doesn't come and life falls apart and dreams are still undone, you are God. You are good forever faithful one. Even if the healing, even if the healing doesn't come" -Kutless

"The Lord is good, a strong refuge when trouble comes. He is close to those who trust in Him" Nahum 1:7

Are we doing or being?

I was challenged tonight to think about who I am becoming and where I have been. And I just keep thinking about how I have trouble slowing down. I'm always doing something and that's where I often find my identity. 

I see that in relationships sometimes. Especially this one I'm processing. If I said the right thing or was supportive enough then I was a good girlfriend. It hit me though one day that as i was focused on doing doing doing he appreciated me for things I did but didnt exactly appreciate me for who I was... 

How often do I do that to God? How often am I praising him for who he is rather than what he has done? And how often have I had the mindset that I have to earn his grace by being some kind of perfect... Being God's is not about earning a place in his kingdom or making it look like I'm some kind of good Christian. It's all about grace and humbling myself to see this is not about me. It's about him and who he is.

May we remember that today as we have things to get done. May we remember to seek him in what we do so we may learn to love him for who he is not just what he does.

Dream

Love Me- JJ Heller

He cries in the corner where nobody sees

He's the kid with the story no one would believe

He prays every night, “Dear God won't you please 

Could you send someone here who will love me?”

Who will love me for me

Not for what I have done or what I will become

Who will love me for me

'Cause nobody has shown me what love

What love really means

Her office is shrinking a little each day

She's the woman whose husband has run away

She'll go to the gym after working today

Maybe if she was thinner 

Then he would've stayed

And she says…

Who will love me for me? 

Not for what I have done or what I will become

Who will love me for me?

'Cause nobody has shown me what love, what love really means

He's waiting to die as he sits all alone

He's a man in a cell who regrets what he's done

He utters a cry from the depths of his soul

“Oh Lord, forgive me, I want to go home”

Then he heard a voice somewhere deep inside

And it said 

“I know you've murdered and I know you've lied

I have watched you suffer all of your life 

And now that you'll listen, I'll tell you that I...”

I will love you for you

Not for what you have done or what you will become

I will love you for you

I will give you the love 

The love that you never knew

Midday prayer

I did not write this.
One of my favorite midday prayers:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not
so much seek to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

You failed me

There’s that cliché phrase I’ve seen on quite a few facebook statuses saying something along the lines of I’m not a perfect person or I’m hard to love.

Hard to Love- Lee Brice

Listening to that song I think of things I do that make me hard to love. I think about people I love and what makes them difficult to love at times.

So what do we do with disappointment or failure?

That’s something I struggle with. I see in almost everyone I know, including myself, the tendency to get angry with people when they’re disappointed.

The book of James defines righteousness is to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. (James 1)

Okay, easy enough. Listen. Shut up. Calm down. Then what?

I think that’s the moment we have to take time to look at who God is. In the moments when we recognize weaknesses (ours or others) are the moments when we can choose to recognize God’s strength.

Jesus lived in order to give grace. He challenged people a lot. He challenged His disciples to walk authentically with Him. They said they loved Him and would always be by his side, but they disappointed Him. They fell asleep when Jesus asked them to keep watch. Judas denied Jesus. He sold Him out. Peter denied Jesus. But Jesus didn’t quit His mission. Jesus took nails to his wrists and bled to the most brutal of all deaths. And then He returned. He revealed Himself to His people and disciples He loved. He extended His grace. Jesus gave grace so we could give grace to each other.

Who am I to withhold grace? Think about that situation when someone asks for forgiveness and you just feel frustration welling up inside you. You just want to say why it upsets you more. And then I think what am I trying to accomplish? What am I expecting out of people? Perfection? Who am I to demand perfection?

I love and sometimes that love gets rejected, but I see God taking that love someone else rejected and accepting it Himself. And He’s holding it as treasure.           

The treasures He gives are hope for brokenness, peace and forgiveness, blessings and honor. The victory is the life God blesses His imperfect people with. The victory is the way we can look at the life of Jesus to see the opposite of the world. The victory is seeing treasure when we experience failure.That’s the sweet victory through identity in Jesus.

Quandary

Quandary- "a state of perplexity or uncertainty especially as to what to do; a dilemma"

Quandary peak is the 13 tallest fourteener in the state of Colorado. It stands at 14256 feet

Its name sure fits the hike. Multiple times throughout the hike, my friend Tana was saying we couldn't make it and we were just going to have to be ok not making it to the top, but I pushed. About an hour after that I was having trouble and she was pushing me. The hike gets really steep and rocky about two and a half miles from the top and that last one is the killer. I got to the point where I would take three steps, break, three more, break, can't do it, yes you can, three steps...I could see the peak finally, but it was just taking way too long. Three steps, that's too much. Sometimes we'd see someone on their way down and they'd say "I heard there's free Oreo's at the top" or "You can do it! You've made it this far" I wanted people's encouragement, but it didn't seem like it mattered. All I wanted to do was to reach the top.

And then four and a half hours after we started, we summited. People were cheering, "You made it!" And they'd high five you when you collapsed on the nearest rock. And then I sat up and looked out at the whole place I spent all this time trying to reach and it was more than worth it. There's something different about being at the TOP of a mountain, of all the mountains. 14256 feet struck me then and all I could think about was the MAGNITUDE of God. Who in the world was I to be so afraid of this? I did this! With His strength! He gave me the physical energy and the feet to walk with, even when I could only think three steps at a time. Looking down at the other mountains, I felt like I could literally feel Him holding the whole world in His hand. I could see His character reflected in the mountain and the people at the top welcoming us there! And I turned and saw more people reaching the top and we cheered right along for them because we knew the hard journey they had just accomplished.

And that was really an amazing thing...before the storm rolled in and started hailing and pounding against our faces and legs as we were trying to get back down the steep rock. But all I could think about on the way down was "how in the world did we actually do this?" And my friend Tana and I would just laugh at all the spots we took breaks at and all the places we thought we were near the top when we were so far away. God gave us the gift of friendship. We pushed each other. We needed each other in those moments. We needed the people coming down from the hike to prove that we could make it.

Hiking a fourteener isn't something I could do on a regular basis, but it was such an awesome experience. We got back home around 7:50 and at that point it felt like such a major accomplishment just to get down the stairs and then climb into bed, where I fell into a deep sleep for ten hours.

That experience just revealed to me how tiny I am- and man I feel it today with my physical exhaustion, but it also just blows me away about relationships and how to encourage and challenge and love like Jesus. There were so many times we were so fearful and couldn't see  more than another big rock, some little rocks, another big one, but God doesn't want us stuck in our fear. He wants us to challenge each other even if it's just three steps at a time. He wants us to keep on going so when we get to the top we can cheer others on when they make it too.

I feel this growing in my heart of this love that maybe was already there, but its changing because as I'm falling more in love with God all that I have is seeking Him. And I just want to give it. I can't see much farther than three feet ahead of me, but I can see the three feet. Someday I'm going to look back and say "hey remember that quandary? Well I've summited and it's so amazing up here."

Flood me with your love.

Stop telling me you’re stuck.

Quit numbing yourself.

I want to be in you when you run, when you drive to work, when you laugh and smile and speak.  Quit trying to exclude me.

Recognize that I made music. I made your legs to run. I made your beautiful smile. I made the ground you run on. I made the mountains you gaze at.

Stop telling me you’re trapped.

Stop telling me you don’t know where to give.

Flood me with your love. I want it! I made it. It’s not too much for me.

People thought I was crazy for how much I loved you.

I flood my love over you with the blood I shed for you.

My heart aches for you every second of every day.

I put rainbows in the sky for you. I rise the sun for you every morning. I awaken your soul.

Love me. Let me love you. 

Embracing God's LOVE

I'm heard this concept today from someone. "How come it's so easy for me to feel the love God has for someone, but so hard for me to accept the love He has for me?"

I think I am relational to a fault. I love having deep conversations and growing with friendships. But my problem and my gift is that I see God in people. When I see kindness, I see God. When I see grace, I think of the gift of grace God gives. And then when I see hurtful things, it's really hard for me to separate those things from God.

God is love. And sometimes that statement blows me away and sometimes it's incredibly hard for me to grasp. I feel that I've been given love, but I also feel at times that I've experienced a lot of abandonment. And it makes me afraid of embracing God's love and grace because the love I have been "given" has been conditional. It makes me afraid that love and grace would be taken away from me. Like I'm unworthy.

But Romans 8 says NOTHING in life nor death. NOTHING in ALL creation can separate me from the LOVE of God. I can't earn it. I can't loose it. And His heart just aches and aches and aches for me to accept it.

I absolutely love this C.S. Lewis quote:
“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”

I love this quote because it's not one of those quotes about God will bless you with wonderful things. Of course He does, but I don't want to want things. I want to want God! In this quote, the blessing in the illustration is God Himself, living inside of me. And I really want to desire God immensely and find Him as enough. Anything more is not necessary, but an incredible gift.

Something I see as an incredible gift:  I love seeing God's grace with my best friend Joy Dean and seeing the journey of our friendship over sixteen years. I see God's consistency because I can't ever remember not knowing her. I see a lot of hurtful times, but I see so much grace. I see Joy as a witness to God's joy through her smile and her ways of loving people.

I'm thankful for that. And I want to be a reminder to her and her to me of God's character but also to push each other to seek Him first. That's who I want to be as a person, a witness of God, giving His love because I have accepted it.

And to add onto the song I posted from Mumford & Sons... Not only was I made to meet my Maker, I was made to know Him, to love Him. God didn't NEED me. He didn't Have to make me. He WANTED me. He's enthralled.

I'm confident in His enthralling Love. Confident that I can't ever loose that love because I never earned it in the first place. It's the most beautiful, incomprehensible, unexplainable gift.

The way you invest your love, you invest your life

I just love this song a lot...


Lyrics to Awake My Soul by Mumford & Sons :

How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes
I struggle to find any truth in your lies
And now my heart stumbles on things I don't know
My weakness I feel I must finally show

Lend me your hand and we'll conquer them all
But lend me your heart and I'll just let you fall
Lend me your eyes I can change what you see
But your soul you must keep, totally free
Har har, har har
har har, har har

awake my soul...
awake my soul...

How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes
I struggle to find any truth in your lies
And now my heart stumbles on things I don't know
My weakness I feel I must finally show
Har har, har har
har har, har har

In these bodies we will live,
in these bodies we will die
Where you invest your love,
you invest your life

In these bodies we will live,
in these bodies we will die
Where you invest your love,
you invest your life

awake my soul...
awake my soul...
awake my soul...
For you were made to meet your maker

awake my soul...
awake my soul...
awake my soul...
For you were made to meet your maker
You were made to meet your maker

___________________________________

Every time things have become hard for me, I just have this desire to quit. But I don't feel that. I feel life. I feel the commitment I made to so many things in my life that the change that needs to occur is God changing something in me, not changing things around me. I feel  awake. And I want to invest my love, my life in something important.

Our Daily Bread's article from today. Author- Albert Lee
"Wonderfully Made"

When I was a child, someone close to me thought they could motivate me to do better by frequently asking me, “Why are you so stupid?” I didn’t know how much this had affected me until I was a teenager and heard someone behind me say, “Stupid!” At the word, I quickly turned around, thinking he was talking to me.

Knowing Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord helped me to realize that because God created me in His image (Gen. 1:27), I’m not stupid but am “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Ps. 139:14). God declares that all He has made is “very good” (Gen. 1:31), and the Psalms remind us that we are “skillfully wrought” (Ps. 139:15).

The psalmist David describes how God knows each one of us intimately: “O Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways” (vv.1-3).

Not only are we wonderfully made, but because of Christ’s death on the cross, we can also be wonderfully restored to a right relationship with God. “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation . . . . All this is from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ” (2 Cor. 5:17-18 NIV).

In His own image God created man,
He formed his body from the dust of the earth;
But more than that, to all who are in Christ
He gives eternal life by second birth. —Hess

Each person is a unique expression of God’s loving design.

In the heart of Christ

I feel as if I am falling in love with God for the first time.

I'm spending a summer in about the most beautiful place. Every day I've been spending an hour on my lunch break hiking up to a new favorite spot in the mountains and just sitting in His presence. I've had this overwhelming thought for the last couple weeks as I've been looking at the mountains, thinking "God made these mountains. He made them and said they are good. I am amazed by them." And then it hit me last week. God made man and said he was very good. If I can be so incredibly amazed by the beauty of the mountains, what stops me so often from seeing how God made me?

Sin.

I spent last semester confused and stuck in the thought of what in the world does it mean to have a relationship with God? So many Christians say "it's not about religion. It's about relationship" But what in the world does that mean?

And it's been hitting me through so many things this week. Maybe it's from the time I've spent in his creation or by myself or hurting over some of my own struggles.

The book- Embracing the Love of God by James Bryan Smith is totally changing me. He said in the chapter about embracing God's forgiveness: “When I was focused on not failing, I invariably failed. I tried hard not to fall, but since falling was what I was thinking about, falling is what I did. Once I began to experience God’s forgiveness, I quit looking at sin and started looking at God”

Turn from sin and turn to CHRIST! That's what the message of the gospel is all about.

I can't for a second claim perfection. Since I became a Christian, I have been so focused on how do I make people see Christ in me? How can I change their opinions from the girl they knew before Christ? It hit me that I've never really asked HIM to show Himself through me. I'm not saying I haven't been a Christian, but I feel like I haven't really sought after knowing God- truly, truly knowing Him.

When I have an issue to work through, it's important to work on it, but I can't do it on my own. I can't spend all my time pondering how to fix it, how to have the right words, how to change a situation. All I can do is focus on the heart of Christ.

What does that mean? Just like the quote from James Bryan Smith. I can't dwell on myself. I can't focus on failing/ not failing/ how to fix a situation. God desires my surrender. He desires my complete dependence in Him. And God knows we have sin. He knows we are not perfect, but He pushes us and challenges us and yet never leaves because He is God and therefore is consistent.

Completely consistent.

I am worthy of being loved simply because I am a child of God. I'm worthy of being shown grace because He has paid the highest price to give me grace.

I've been inconsistent, but I am loved by a consistent God. I've done hurtful things, but I am forgiven by the all graceful God. I've acted in impatience, and yet I've been waited upon by the all patient God. I've sinned, and yet I am completely treasured by the all-kind God.

I want to be in His character. I want to know Him to give His character to other people, not with the intent to make people see me as a better person, but to point people to CHRIST! I want to be out-pouring of the love that only comes from God in acting in grace, being more consistent, forgiving, patient, kind.

I want to be defined- completely shaped by Him.

And if God chooses to give me Himself and nothing more, I want to be content.

I want to fall in love with Him so much that even though I would experience pain, I would be content in His heart alone.

Reflections

I'm reflecting tonight on God's consistency. I'm thinking of the companionship He gives as I choose Him and choose His way. My pastor always says the Christian life isn't a hard concept. It's living it out that is the hard part. 

At the end of every school year I tend to think through a lot of things of where I have been and where God has brought me. It gives me the chance to evaluate myself and thank God for the example of His character to study.

Reading in Ephesians tonight I see the life of Christ's character being outlined as He shows Himself walking in love, not allowing Himself to be partners with the world. I'm amazed by the consistency in Jesus' life with the will of God. 

My deepest desire is to reflect the character and love of my Lord. I have no excuse for messing up in my walk with Him and yet I have, but I'm praying these words to penetrate in my heart tonight. 

^{Ephesians 5:1-20}

¹ Follow God’s example,^(A) therefore, as dearly loved children^(B) 2 and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us^(C) and gave himself up for us^(D) as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.^(E)

³ But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality,^(F) or of any kind of impurity, or of greed,^(G)because these are improper for God’s holy people. ⁴ Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk^(H) or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.^(I) 5 For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater^(J)—has any inheritance^(K) in the kingdom of Christ and of God.^[a](L) 6 Let no one deceive you^(M) with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath^(N) comes on those who are disobedient.^(O)7 Therefore do not be partners with them.

⁸ For you were once^(P) darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light^(Q) 9 (for the fruit^(R) of the light consists in all goodness,^(S) righteousness and truth)¹⁰ and find out what pleases the Lord.^(T) 11 Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness,^(U) but rather expose them. ¹² It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. ¹³ But everything exposed by the light^(V) becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. ¹⁴ This is why it is said:

“Wake up, sleeper,^(W)
    rise from the dead,^(X)
    and Christ will shine on you.”^(Y)

¹⁵ Be very careful, then, how you live^(Z)—not as unwise but as wise, ¹⁶ making the most of every opportunity,^(AA)because the days are evil.^(AB) 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.^(AC) 18 Do not get drunk on wine,^(AD) which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit,^(AE) 19 speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit.^(AF) Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, ²⁰ always giving thanks^(AG) to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

If you Believe

            An old man sees a beautiful twenty-year old woman. He has been sad for the last fifteen years after loosing his wife and many close friends. “She will make me happy,” he thought. He prayed to have this woman. If he prayed hard enough, he believed he could have this woman. Matthew 21:18-22 relates to what this man believes as verse 22 says, “If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer” (NIV). Prayer deals with submission of oneself to God in the purest form. This old man is not following what God intended in this passage as it relates to prayer. There are many things this old man has wrong.

            The book of Matthew was written by Matthew, an ordinary sinner and tax collector. He was transformed by God and called one of Jesus’ twelve disciples. He writes mostly to the Jewish reader to provide an account of Jesus. He provides information about Jesus’ birth, John the Baptist, Jesus’ ministry, His death, resurrection, and ascension. His focus is mostly on Jesus’ teaching through his parables and metaphors (Quest).

            One of these famous metaphors shows up in Matthew 21:18-22. Jesus walks with his disciples, spots a fig tree that had no fruit, and tells it to die. The disciples wonder what this is about and Jesus explains that if one has faith he can do more than bear fruit. He speaks of this faith and prayer a person can use to do anything.

            Matthew 21:19, “Seeing a fig tree by the road, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. Then he said to it, “May you never bear fruit again!” Immediately the tree withered” (NIV). Immediately. The Message Bible says the tree “withered on the spot, a dry stick”. A tree, like faith, grows slowly in order to produce good fruit. Once a tree begins to die, or a person doubts, it serves no purpose. A person cannot be used to further the gospel without faith. The Bible Knowledge Commentary wrote about faith and doubt saying, “Jesus used this event to teach a lesson in faith, for if they had genuine faith in God they not only would be able to do miracles…The Lord was teaching the importance of faith rather than doubting or simple marveling. By contrast the nation of Israel had failed to exercise faith in Him” (Walvoord). God requires full belief, which serves a full purpose, not doubt or lack of producing fruit.

            Furthermore, verse 22, “If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer” (NIV). If you believe. The Amplified Bible words this verse, “having faith and (really) believing” (Amplified). Belief, or “real belief” is added to this prayer, which goes beyond a week “bedtime prayer” that many participate in. Matthew 17:20 can help the reader understand this belief. “He replied, “Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you” (NIV). Believing a person can move a mountain takes a lot of “real belief”. Belief, or this kind of pure belief, is not rooted in itself. It is through belief in God, that this “mountain-moving” kind of belief is possible. The Wycliffe Bible Commentary writes about this passage saying, “This kind of faith, however, will only ask those things that it knows to be God’s will” (Pfeiffer).

            The old man that desires a twenty-year old woman is not seeking God’s will. He follows his desires and prays for what he wants. He does not ask God if he can have this woman, but rather demands that God will give him this woman. The old man has another problem. He has been depressed for many years and seems to be looking to this woman to fix his problem by making him happy. He is not seeking God first. If his desire were fulfilled, there’s no telling if he would seek to love God with what he has been given because he can’t serve God with what he was originally given.

The Life Application Study Bible provides insight on Matthew 17, saying, “The power of faith is illustrated by its ability to remove this mountain…Scriptural faith is a trust in God’s revealed Word and will. Hence faith to move a mountain can be exercised only when God reveals that to be his will” (Life). In many situations God allows individuals to have others in a romantic way, but in a God-fearing relationship, the individual must ask what God’s will is before he begins to ask for what he desires. A Godly prayer, also known as the Lord’s Prayer, is outlined in Matthew 6: 10-14. It begins saying “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be thy name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven” (NIV). For the desires of man will change as he recognizes and commits himself to God’s desires and will.

            The statement in verse 22 of Matthew 21, “If you believe” is significant. It says “if you believe” not “if you desire”. It does not simply state, “Pray”. Believe and pray.

            There are two stories surrounding this fig tree metaphor in Matthew 21. The story that precedes it is Matthew 22:12-17. In this story, Jesus overturns tables and expresses his frustration with people selling sacrificial animals outside of the temple. Jesus says in verse 13, “My house will be a house of prayer, but you are making it a den of robbers” (NIV).  He proceeds to heal a blind man is praised by children. When children are mentioned in the Bible, they are often shown for their faith. One example is in Matthew 18:3, “"Truly I say to you, Unless You turn around and become as young children, you will by no means enter into the kingdom of the heavens" (NIV). Matthew includes this segment about children to lead into another passage about faith.

            The passage following the metaphor of the fig tree is Matthew 21:23-27. This is where Jesus’ authority is questioned. Many authoritative figures question what gives Jesus the authority to perform miracles and such. Just like man cannot move a mountain on his own, Jesus must have faith in God. This passage outlines the power of God and the need everyone has to submit to him in order to do his will.

            The metaphor of the fig tree lies about two-thirds of the way through the book of Matthew. This is one of the later lessons of Jesus. Many stories surrounding this one follow the same theme of faith. It foreshadows faith that needs to come later in Matthew and becomes more and more important as Jesus’ thoughts and actions reveal his submission to God’s will. In Matthew 26: 39 Jesus prays, “Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My father, if it is possible, may this cup [of death] be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will” (NIV). Jesus’ will aligns with His father’s.

            The New Testament has been viewed by many as a delightful form of literature. Every passage is organized in a poetic way. The metaphor of the fig tree is no different. Just like a student writing a paper to explain an idea: the metaphor is stated, questions are asked, and the metaphor is explained. Then, faith is talked about and foreshadows the faith that comes about further in Matthew, this constant surrender.

This passage speaks many volumes about God. He is all-powerful as he is the enabler. As an individual believes in him, he is able to move mountains in God’s name. Matthew 21:21 says “Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but you can say to this mountain, ‘Go throw yourself into the sea” (NIV). Humans choose to be faithful, but they must choose to be faithful to God, proving God is the enabler, the all-powerful one. In the passage following the fig tree passage, Jesus shows that God is the enabler by saying “John’s baptism--- where did it come from? Was it from heaven, or from men?” (NIV). He doesn’t straight out say he has his authority from God, but from the fig tree passage, the reader can infer it is saying God is the omnipotent one.

God listens to an individual’s requests. Verse 22 in Matthew 21 says a person can receive whatever he asks for in prayer through his belief. Furthermore, Philippians 4:6 states, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition present your requests to God” (NIV). By God asking people to present their troubles and desires to Him, He is making Himself available to listen, and he does.

This passage also reveals God as a transformer. He changes hearts. In verse 21 of Matthew 21, Jesus says a person, in his belief, can tell a mountain to move and it will move. The faith a person initially has changes to a stronger faith that can move these mountains. Likewise, the passage Matthew 14:22-35 shows this kind of transforming faith. Peter, one of Jesus’ twelve disciples sees Jesus walking on water and walks on the water to meet Jesus. After walking a little ways, he becomes afraid and begins to sink as he begins to doubt. This is one form of transformation. Peter does not allow Jesus to transform him as he sinks into the water. When he chooses to believe; however, he is able to walk on the water. He is transformed by God to do something that is scientifically impossible. God transforms others all throughout history. Take the author of this book, Matthew for example. He was once a tax collector, hated by much of society, and was transformed into one of Jesus’ disciples. He went on to write about this great faith.

This passage speaks volumes about people as well. Jesus uses a fig tree in his metaphor and compares people to this tree. This tree has the potential to produce good fruit, but it does not. People have the potential to do unimaginable things things, but when they doubt they wither away like this fig tree.

Hebrews 11:1 says, “Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see” (NIV). God is an omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient God. He is not always around in a physical sense or present in ways people expect him to be, but he calls individuals to trust him anyway so our desires can be aligned with his desires.

God calls people today to have faith, just like he called Peter to walk on water through faith. He enables people to have in faith in order to prevent them from withering away. It takes a lot of faith to believe in a Jesus that existed many years ago, but he asks that people will believe in him in the different ways he will work today, so they and others they will influence can trust him in what is to come.

An old man, desiring love and affection can find it through Christ. He may not feel loved in a physical or expected sense, but his desires can change with the purity of his heart. The all-powerful God can make him desire to pray for this young beautiful woman. He may seek to be a fatherly figure for her and show her God’s love. He may be transformed through God’s love. If he has enough faith. If he prays earnestly with a pure heart. If he listens to God’s will. If he has belief beyond what he can see with his human eyes. And this passage foreshadows something else that came true in the end of Matthew and continues to be proven today: God exceeds expectations.

Works Cited

Life Application Study Bible: New Living Translation. Carol Steam [sic], IL: Tyndale

House, 2007. Print.

Pfeiffer, Charles E., and Everett F. Harrison. Wycliffe Bible Commentary. Moody, 1980.

Print.

Quest Study Bible NIV. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan, 2003. Print.

Walvoord, John F., and Roy B. Zuck. The Bible Knowledge Commentary. David V Cook,

1989. Web.