Break my heart for what breaks yours.

My heart is so fragile. Sometimes I ask God why I feel things so deeply, but more and more I keep seeing him giving me this dear heart as his gift to me.

Talking to a close friend in her complete brokenness tonight put so much in perspective. Tonight we cried and prayed and expressed anger for two little souls in danger. We expressed fear and anger towards sin. Sin, that corrupts and destroys others. Sin that my own sinful mind cannot even comprehend.

How often do we just choose to forget? How often do we choose to not care? How often do we focus so much on the fact that our hearts hurt that we don't seek to care about those around us? Why do we think we can put limitations on how much our hearts can hold that we stop trying?

Lord, break me. Reveal your heart to me.

You are treasured. You are sacred. You are His. You're beautiful.

Lately, I've been feeling this numbness, sortof. And I hate being numb. It makes me feel lost. Lost but not broken. It's a fence-sitting, unknown sort of feeling.

And yet I'm spending all this time focusing on things that frustrate me. I spend time either feeding into it, in turn making me more mad. Or I try to ignore it, which is where the numbness comes in to play.

So I don't know about all that, but I do know about being grateful. I don't feel numb tonight. I feel grateful. I feel grateful because I can choose that. I feel grateful because I can breathe, live, and think. I feel grateful because it helps me understand God better. It helps me love others better. 

Being grateful shows me how much I don't understand. I don't understand why you are so nice to me. I don't understand why you compliment me and care in such the ways you do. Sometimes it's hard to accept that because I can't comprehend it, but I'm seeking to. So I just want to thank you. Thank you for being my friend when I need it.

Oh and this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXDMoiEkyuQ&feature=youtu.be That video sortof blows my mind. How could a person not know their worth after that?

Accepting His love.

Ever experience something that makes you feel not good enough? 

I know I’m not perfect. I’ve messed up. I wish I never rushed anything with you. I wish I never gave you my heart so soon. 

I keep feeling like I’m an annoyance to God. Because I just keep messing up. And I don’t know how to deal with any of this.

This thought, partially inspired by Sidewalk Prophets' song "You Love Me Anyway," would not leave my mind this morning: I am the nail in his wrist, but he loves me anyway.

I don’t understand it. I don’t deserve it. I don’t always know how to accept it. And yet He just never quits staying the same. Never quits forgiving, accepting, loving.

And I can't comprehend it.