How is it even possible to be experiencing so much joy and peace in the midst of hardship? I feel like I'm crying everyday still, but it's not this I have no hope sort of cry. It's a needy cry. It's a heartbroken I have no control sort of cry. But the joy comes by Who I'm crying to. I know I may sound weak to some, but I refuse to stuff my hurt in and just let it explode later, but I'm at the point where I can't just mindlessly cry. And that's why I have joy. I still don't like the situation, but I keep saying "God help me to accept this today". I may pray it multiple times throughout the day. He is fulfilling it. It doesn't mean I don't hurt. I just feel this incredible hope. It's a hope I can't explain. I don't know what the hope is for other than just living. It's a strength. It's an excitement. It's me looking forward to thanking God for every moment throughout the day that I can think and breathe and have food to eat and a place to sleep. It's a hope that causes me to depend completely on God. And I love it. And I just can't get over it.
And I feel as though I am bringing glory to Him because of my weakness.
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness". -2 Corinthians 12:9
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