Space.

I have so many thoughts screaming through my brain that I can't even begin to express right now and I don't feel like going into detail. God knows.

I know some could look at me wondering why I am pushing away in friendships, but I just can't handle investing in most of them right now. Maybe this is selfish, but I just need space. Never have I ever felt so suffocated, broken, set apart, but I need it.

In this time of being broken, I am running. I am running straight to God. I am stretching my arms out so far ahead of me, yearning for Him, needing Him more than anything or anyone I can even imagine.

I'm sorry if you're my friend and I'm pushing you away. I'm sorry that I seem to be selfish right now, but I just need time. I need to grow with God now. Please just let go of me. For now.

I know the purpose of this blog has been to be an encouragement to friends and anyone who happens to stumble upon my ramblings, so I'm sorry this post isn't friendly. I'm sorry to be a discouragement. I promise I will write to encourage again. I just need time.

"I Will Show You Love" by Kendall Payne:

I will show you love like you've never loved before
I will go the distance and back for more if you just say the word
'Cause you will come alive again
Call the trying times your friend
Pain that you have suffered through
Never get the best of you
You will hope in something real
Won't depend on how you feel
When you call my name, then I will answer, answer

Cause I am on your side
Though the wind and waves
Beat against your faith
You were on my mind
When the world was made
Trust in me my child,
Trust in me my child

Walk out on the water
You have no control
Scared of every failure
Sacrifice your soul, please let that go

Cause you have climbed an uphill road
You have worn a heavy load
You have cried through endless nights
Nearly giving up the fight
Watch your dreams like fallen stars
Heartache made you who you are
Looking back you see that I've always been there

Cause I am on your side
Though the wind and waves
Beat against your faith
You were on my mind
When the world was made
Trust in me my child,
Trust in me my child

Where you gonna hide, where you gonna hide from me?
Where you gonna go, where you gonna go that I can't see?

Cause I have heard your cry
And it breaks my heart, for I love you so
I will never lie
This is not the end
There is still a hope

Cause I am on your side
Though the wind and waves
Beat against your faith
You were on my mind
When the world was made
Trust in me my child,
Trust in me my child