A grateful heart.

Gratitude: acknowledgement of a benefit, thankfulness, appreciation.

I remember the days in middle school when my dad would drive me to school. I usually took the bus, but on certain mornings my dad would say "well, how about a hash brown and some dad time". I appreciated the breakfast and ride to school, but I was not a morning person. I didn't really say a lot on those mornings. I pitty laughed at my dad's morning puns and let him talk about global issues. Then it hit me one morning after we had eaten and were on the highway. I have a dad who wants to spend that time with me. He wants to spend money on me and push his meetings until 7:30 (my dad's a morning person) just to take me to school. He wanted to spend these little moments with me. He didn't want to call himself a dad just because he took care of my basic needs. He wanted to have a relationship with his daughter. That morning as I got out of the car I told my dad "thank you" wholeheartedly. I remember that moment because it was the first time I remember being able to grasp, at least a little bit, why we say thank you to one another.

My dad is one of the people in this world that I love and respect the most. When I'm struggling with an issue I feel that I can often look to his life and see how he handles things. My dad isn't perfect, but he's always told me his goal is to love me the way God wants him to and to be a steward in being my earthly father. What makes my dad an amazing father is the source of who he is. My heavenly Father created my father and gives him wisdom, grace, love, and joy to pass on to me. My dad isn't one of those people who always has something to say. He's not one who always has to take the spotlight. He always gives to me with a humble heart, not expecting a thank you.

That, to me, is just a window into the love God has for us. He is always giving to us and never forces us to thank Him for any of it. That doesn't make Him a push over or anything though, because my dad is always pushing me. Sometimes when he sees things I need to work on he lets me figure it out, but sometimes he challenges me. He will say his opinion without sugarcoating and expects me to take his advise fully or reject it completely. That's how God is with us too.

I've been thinking a lot about the type of relationship God wants to have with us. Reading the book Disappointment with God by Philip Yancey opened my mind to what kind of heart I should have for God, a grateful heart. This book was written about doubt, about the questions we have when God doesn't always seem to answer our prayers. What do we do when we feel like God isn't really there? What about when we are disappointed? This book challenged me to think about the Israelites. God provided for their every need. In that time God had a very obvious presence. He provided mana for them to eat daily and yet they were disappointed. They worshiped other gods and chose to sin against God. Their "faith" was very dependent on what God could do for them and when he didn't seem to give them what they wanted, they sinned.

So here I am in this world where God seems to have a silent presence at times. Just like my dad challenges me, I feel like God is challenging me in order to produce the most authentic, grateful, graceful, and loving version of myself I can possibly be. My prayer is for this grateful heart to grow, to thank Him when I make sacrifices and when I'm blessed. I pray that I can accept His blessings and use them in the way He intends. I pray that I may follow His guidance and seek His will in these things.

God is a God of restoration, renewal, and new strength. I praise Him for this today and ask that I may continue to seek Him in all I do and say.

Thank you God.