Approved.

Looking around on campus today, I've been paying attention to what I can tell about a person by the way he or she dresses, or sits, or talks. It's interesting to me that I see a common theme. Most of these people seemed to be doing what they were doing due to the response he or she received from others.

We tried an experiment in my science class today. In psychology last year we were told about a study about confidence. In a classroom, students were told to pay attention and engage in class when the teacher was standing on the left side of the room but to ignore the teacher and seem distracted on the right side. The teacher showed discomfort by speaking and standing nervously when he was standing on the right side of the class. The class conditioned him to stand on the left side...A couple guys in my class were intrigued by this study, so we have been trying this in science this week, just to make the class a little more interesting. It's pretty crazy to see what the approval of people does for one's self-esteem.

I started thinking about this today. How often do we spend time throughout the day seeking to please a parent, a best friend, or even a total stranger?

Yes, having a parent, a friend, or a stranger's approval can be appropriate at times. (This is why I don't go streaking or anything. That wouldn't exactly be socially acceptable or respectful). I know there's times when it is appropriate to apologize to people for things (like when you have wronged them, or when you need to mature- which ends up being an action that actually glorifies God), but I'm done apologizing to people for being me. I'm not going to stop wearing my sock monkey cap, even if it makes me look like a little kid, because I like it. I am not going to stop writing a blog, because I sound like a rambler to someone, because I find fulfillment in using this gift God has given me. I am not going to apologize for holding more conservative views than others on things, like not taking God's name in vain, because I do this out of respect and love for Him. I do this because I don't like His name associated with negative or even degrading things.

Now, there is a warning against becoming prideful here. The world tells us to be ourselves and not apologize. The world also approves of selfishness. They advise one to seek his feelings or desires. If we acted to this extreme, we wouldn't be furthering the Kingdom of God.

God's word says:
"Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ". -Galations 1:10

Chew on this with me today as I think about how to use the gifts God has given me, in ways that bring glory to Him and Him alone.

Bloom where you are planted.

"Anxiety is a result when you view your future without Me" -Sarah Young

The other day I blogged about dreams. Earlier today I blogged about being driven by patience in His will rather than emotions.

Dreams aren't bad. Praying for the future isn't bad, but what is wrong is putting such a heavy focus on that to the point of forgetting about the Great Commission God calls us all to. The purpose of our lives is to, as His creation, be brought back in to harmony with our Maker (Rob Bell). As we seek restoration with Christ, we need to be completely focused on bringing Him glory rather than seeking to fulfill our own desires.

The purpose of marriage is to be a support system for your spouse, encouraging them for their roles in advancing the kingdom of God. So why put such a focus on dreams about the future? Especially if we are not picturing God in this future.

Picturing God in the future is not simply imagining going to church and serving. These things are good, but that's the danger in it. If these things are good and we picture ourselves as doing these things, we are imagining ourselves as good church goers, good parents, good spouses, and good servants. We forget, in these imaginations, who the meaning good is actually derived from. There is no good apart from God.

Furthermore, the person who obsesses over the future will obsess over the past. It's a pattern. Just look at the way the world operates. If we are so focused on our time, our past, our future, then we won't give where we are. We won't be seeking how to serve God. We will just be seeking to meet our desires.

So stop. Stop trying to figure it all out. Stop obsessing over the future and just live. Live patiently and compassionately. Live selflessly. Bloom right where you're planted, living each day surrendered to the way God wants to use you in every moment. Recognize the presence He has in every second. Relish these moments and when you lack joy cling to His promise to restore you with Him. Don't cling to His promise to bless you (which He will as you abide in Him). Cling simply to His character, His will. Be comforted in the fact that He is outside of time. The more you imagine your life in His will, the more you will let go of the anxiety of everyday.

"As the father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commands and remain in His love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete" -John 15:9-11

Patience in affliction

Patience:

2. an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay

3. quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence

Emotion:

a. the affective aspect of consciousness

b. the state of feeling

c. a conscious mental reaction subjectively experienced as strong feeling usually directed toward a specific object and typically accompanied by physiological and behavioral changes in the body

So patience, Romans 12:12 says, "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer". 

(Affliction: something that causes pain or suffering).

God calls us to patience. When I'm hurting, I want quick fixes. I want to depend on my state of feeling (or emotions) to guide me. I ask for direction and rather than seeking answers from God by being silent, I seek them out myself. Not that emotions are all bad, but following emotions hurts others. Following emotions is selfish. So it's this whole complicated thing of when is it okay to allow yourself to feel these emotions and when is it right to let go? 

I have this weird mixture of feelings today, trying to figure everything out. But I can't. I don't really have an answer of what to do, but I do have direction from God's word about His character and His way. His way is patience. If following my feelings makes me impatient, it's not right. Anything in God's timing can and will wait.

So once again I am saying I don't know what the future holds. I don't know if something will be restored or something new will come about. And I'm not seeking answers now. I can't. It would be selfish and unfair to the people I'm around, people that have been patient already.

Forgive me for not seeking your best interest in every single moment. Forgive me because I can't explain what's been going on in this time. I feel so irrational when I try to figure things out. So I'm truly so sorry for that. 

Oh Lord, grow my heart for the people around me. Help me to act in your character, being sensitive to the feelings of others. May I put my focus on serving others and may your will be revealed to me over time. I'm sorry for trying to fix these situations because I haven't fully depended on you in these times. God, protect me from following my emotions, but allow me to understand where they can be beneficial. When I don't know where to put my feelings, take them and hold them in your hands. Direct my unsure feelings and purify them into love for you. And guide me in this love. Stabilize me. 

I trust you, oh my God, my strength, my provider, my love, my everything. 

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.

Proverbs 16:9

Waiting....in expectation of the Lord.

A dream is:
3: Something notable for its beauty
4: a: a strongly desired goal or purpose
    b: something that fully satisfies a wish

A dream is a gift from God, a symbol of hope, a passion to drive one heart.

I have this image of you and I sitting, watching a sunrise. I see you and I riding bikes on a windy, fall evening. I see you walking with me at a carnival, holding my hand. I see you helping and doing the dishes with me. I see you supporting me as a mother. I see you running along side of me I am your treasure. I am your sweet, smart, beautiful woman. I see your patience. I see your leadership. I see you pointing me to our Creator. I see you disciplined. I see you being a good father. I see you seeking God even in hard times, not making excuses for why He hasn't found you. I see Him finding you as you are seeking Him with your whole heart.

I see your love and I don't know who you are yet, but I just want you to know I'm waiting for you, praying for you. I'm asking God to protect you, to prepare you, to love you, to know you, to grow you.

And I'm waiting in expectation of the Lord.

"The Lord is good to those who hope in Him, to the one who seeks Him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation in the Lord"
-Lamentations 3:25-26

Restored Treasure

Sin separates people. It can be from something as "small" as a "white-lie" to jealousy or lust. Its consequences, even when we use these things in order to "fix" some situation for our benefit, are never satisfying or pleasant. They might provide temporary "fixes", but a solution built off of sin or our own control will never stand.

I know this is one of the foundational concepts in Christian faith. It may sound simple, but it is so profound. Separation is devastating.

I'm overwhelmed in joy today simply because I know I don't have to live in separation from God. I am a restored treasure, separated from my sin, drawn close by my God.

In this restored closeness, he says:

"You are valuable because you exist. Not because of what you do or what you have done, but simply because you are" -Max Lucado

Words to Build a Life on- Mike Crawford

These are words to build a life on
These are Your words how can they be mine
These are words to build a life on
These are Your words I want them to be mine

Blessed are the poor
Blessed are the weak
Blessed are the ones
Who can barely speak

Blessed in your hurt
Blessed in your pain
Blessed when your teardrops
Are falling down like rain

Blessed when you’re broken
Blessed when you’re blind
Blessed when you’re fragile
When you have lost your mind

Blessed when you’re desperate
Blessed when you’re scared
Blessed when you’re lonely
Blessed when you’ve failed

Blessed when you’re beat up
Blessed when you’re bruised
Blessed when you’re tore down
Blessed when you’re used

These are words to build a life on
These are Your words how can they be mine
These are words to build a life on
These are Your words I want them to be mine

Blessed when you’re heartbroke
Blessed when you’re fired
Blessed when you’re choked up
Blessed when you’re tired

Blessed when the plans
That you so carefully laid
End up in the junkyard
With all the trash you made

Blessed when you feel like
Giving up the ghost
Blessed when your loved ones
Are the ones who hurt you most

Blessed when you lose your
Own identity
Then blessed when you find it
And it has been redeemed

Blessed when you see what
Your friends can never be
Blessed with your eyes closed
Then blessed you see Me

These are words to build a life on
These are Your words how can they be mine
These are words to build a life on
These are Your words I want them to be mine

Blessed when you’re hungry
Blessed when you thirst
Cause that’s when you will eat of
The bread that matters most

Blessed when you’re put down
Because of me you’re dissed
Because of me you’re kicked out
They take you off their list

You know you’re on the mark
You know you’ve got it right
You are to be my salt
You are to be my light

So bring out all the flavor
In the feast of this My world
And light up all the colors
Let the banner be unfurled

Shout it from the rooftops
Let the trumpets ring
Sing your freaking lungs out
Jesus Christ is King!

Jesus is my Savior
Jesus is divine
Jesus is my answer
Jesus is my life

These are words to build a life on
These are Your words how can they be mine
These are words to build a life on
These are Your words I want them to be mine

Give us ears that we may hear them
voice that we may sing them
life that we may live them
hope that we may give them
hearts that we can feel them
eyes that we can see them
thoughts that we may think them
tongues that we may speak Your words

Empty My Hands- Tenth Avenue North

I’ve got voices in my head
And they are so strong
And I’m getting sick of this
Oh Lord, how long will I be haunted by the fear that I believe?
My hands like locks on cages of these dreams I can’t set free
But if I let these dreams die
If I lay down all my wounded pride
If I let these dreams die
Will I find, that letting go lets me come alive?


So empty my hands
Fill up my heart
Capture my mind with You
Oh, empty my hands
Fill up my heart
Capture my mind with You
With You
With You, Lord


‘Cause these voices speak instead
What’s right is wrong
And I’m giving into them
Oh please Lord, how long will I be held captive by the lies that I believe?
My heart’s in constant chaos
And it keeps me so deceived
But if I let these dreams die
If I could lay down my dark desire
‘Cause if I let these dreams die
Will I find, You brought me back to life?


So empty my hands
Fill up my heart
Capture my mind with You
Oh Lord, empty my hands
Fill up my heart
Capture my mind with You
With You


‘Cause my mind is like a building burning down
I need Your grace to keep me
Well keep me from the ground
My heart is just a prisoner of war
A slave to what it wants and to what I’m fighting for
So won’t You…


So empty my hands
Fill up my heart
Capture my mind with You
Oh, empty my hands
Fill up my heart
Capture my mind with You
With You

With You
I need You now
I need You now Lord
With You
With You
I need You now Lord


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51Qi8k9aDrg